Friday, June 29, 2007

SOMETIMES BEING A BITCH...








One of my favorite lines from a movies every!!! "Sometimes, being a Bitch is all a woman has to hold on to!" Wow does that say it all or what? I know that's how I've been feeling lately. The movie was Dolores Claiborne (1995), written by Stephen King, and starring Kathy Bates, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Christopher Plummer. The movies actual tag line is: "Sometimes an accident can be an unhappy woman's best friend." I like my favorite quote better.

warning: rather long rant to follow


I wrote all of that to say, again, my parents are in town. And believe me, I love my family. But sometimes I feel like my family thinks because I'm single, not dating anyone at the moment, and have no children, that any free moment I have should be dedicated to them. Don't think for a moment that any of the following rant means I don't love spending time with my family, I just wish I could be allowed to have a life free of family obligations. Just for a few moments at a time. Every time I turn around, and have a day or two free, it feels like there they are. Sometimes I think or feel like they think I have no life without them. Granted, I don't have much life without them, but I do have some. And could probably have more if I hadn't always been made to feel so stunted. And now, after almost 39 yrs, I've finally stood up for myself with her and asked not to be imposed upon (automatically they assume it's alright). I'm being made to feel like a selfish and ungrateful child. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how she makes me feel. I don't want them to think I don't want them here, it's just when they're here MY life comes to a screeching halt. At every turn, every decision is questioned, every choice criticized, every failure illuminated, every negative thought about me voiced. It's hard to WANT to deal with that.

Sorry about the rant! I just needed to get it off my chest. No more negative thoughts. I promise. And a more positive post later.

4 comments:

Amy said...

Get your bitch on girl! It' okay :)

Hopefully I'll see you soon...

Larjmarj said...

"Sometimes an accident can be an unhappy woman's best friend."

I may have said this to Mr. Larj on occasion, that and "you'd better sleep with one eye open tonight".

I know what you mean about people assuming that you can just do whatever whenever because of being man/child free. I don't have children, I am the only one of my sibs that doesn't. They assume that because of that I have all the time in the world to do this that and the next for my parents and it leaves them completely off the hook and they can go and lead their own lives with out obligation to even call my parents and see how they are doing. I ask you...who's the selfish ones?
It's selfish for people to automatically impose IMHO. Don't feel guilty for a minute for telling people NO. Once you start setting boundaries it gets easier and believe they will get over it.

Like Amy said, get your bitch on...that's what our little knitting community is for. Interwoven yarn, interwoven lives.

the girl with pointy sticks said...

Feels good to get it out there don't it?

hartgirl said...

Hey listen, I'm 46 and my mom still does this to me. I am married with 4 kids trying to be a good wife, mother, daughter, but for some reason my 3 sisters can do no wrong and I'm always the AHole. Even when I go out of my way (26 for a home-cooked Christmas Dinner Feast, hello? Am I crazy?) my mom critisizes me. This past year, after three such critisisms in a row, I looked at her and said, "you will let me know when I get something right, won't you?". It was hard to say but I think she got the message that day. I don't like being like that but I don't like being walked on either. It's tough but necessary. Don't sweat it!